The “Local Celebrity” Syndrome

0 Wednesday July 20 2011 Written by Sandra
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Are you suffering from local celebrity itis? If so you’ve probably performed at a cool club night and maybe you’ve even been interviewed by SBTV. Perhaps you’re a club promoter, own your own blog or design your own T-Shirts? All of a sudden you’re elevated to local celebrity status. If you have come across anyone suffering from such a disease please don’t judge them they often don’t know they have it. The symptoms are as follows:

Delusions of grandeur

This is usually characterised in the form of popping champagne bottles in the club. The sufferer cannot afford said champagne as it’s been paid for with a dead card (fraud). They usually get the night bus home with everyone else.

Individuals with the disease are constantly going on about being on their grind. They repeatedly declare they are the next best thing and often have inflated opinions of themselves and their work. You do not see them without an entourage (goons as I like to call them). They are also convinced people will recognise them when they go out. Please don’t expect them to wait in any queue but don’t be surprised if they get annoyed that the bouncers don’t have a clue who they are.

Split personality

One minute they are your best friend. They tell you they love you and ask “when are we going out again?” The next minute they have a fake smile and this time they ask their friends “who the hell is this person again?” Don’t be fooled. This is just another ploy to keep you on your toes by reminding you who’s boss. It soothes their ego and stops “users” who may want to “take advantage of them” by using them as fashion accessories. At this stage sufferers do not understand the concept of being nice just because it’s polite.

Paranoid behaviour

The disease is in its final stages. Patients come out in cold sweats and often complain about people “watching their movements”. You may even hear them use the word “haters” on several occasions. It is unclear whether or not this is a desperate cry for attention or a bid to distract you from the fact no one actually cares. They may even assume they are important enough for the News of the World to hack into their phones.

Attire

Shades/fur coat in a club.

Eye catching, colourful, crazy outfit/hair colour to prove individualism/art.

Skinny Jeans (Men)

Shaved head /Brazilian weave (Ladies)