INDIAN SUMMER

0 Wednesday October 5 2011 Written by flyprints
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Just when we’d buried all hope for more warm weather six feet underground, out from the ashes emerges this incredible sunny spell. In typical English fashion some of us revelled in the heat and some of us (cough cough ME) complained. I did try to enjoy it but warm weather at this time of year is quite frankly sinister. I am not however looking forward to the snow which has become a regular occurrence over the last few years. I’m sure this will all be over before we know it so I want to help the needy and offer some friendly advice about how to stay safe in the sun. Ha. Only joking I’m going to rant about the annoying things sun worshipers only seem to get away with when it’s hot.

Schizophrenic outfits

I appreciate that when you live in a temperate climate like we do it’s often difficult to know what to wear because you can’t always gage what the weather is like and dress appropriately. However if you’ve been told by the news, Facebook and your next door neighbour that its going to be 28C outside it is unacceptable to wear a short denim skirt, bikini top and Ugg boots. Please make up your mind are you cold or not?

Anyone Topless

I don’t want to get in the way of anyone’s tan I just do not want to see any topless men (because they are the main culprits) walking around on the streets of London. I think we should all remain calm and get a grip despite the heat. Let’s remember that this is the Old Kent Road not Los Angeles. Skin cancer is also no joke, always wear sunscreen even if your nickname is Midnight.

Poor personal hygiene

No more making excuses for people who make public transport even more difficult for us by not having a shower or using extra strong deodorant when the situation calls for it. Only homeless people, old people and those with an underlying medical problem are exempt.

Air conditioning

I know this one doesn’t fit the brief but it needs to be said. Why does air conditioning only either act like a heater or mimic Antarctic conditions? Is it too much to ask for just a nice reasonably cool breeze? I hate having to pack a blanket, woolly hat and scarf just in case.

More people on the streets

People should choose between sitting in a park or their back garden. “On road” should not be an option. Say what you like about winter it’s more effective at getting riff raff off the streets than the police.

People who criticise other people’s feet

Get a life. They’re only feet. It’s not that deep.

People who moan about how hot it is

I appreciate the irony of the statement above.